worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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