Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
