oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
