you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
