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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  have you facebook stalked him yet?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  No, I don’t know his last name...

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just google his license plate numb

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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• (518): View more from New York

  HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  I was just power-washing my vagina.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I dont understand why i cant be a wizard

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