Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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