im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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