It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
