His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
