life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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