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I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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