wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?