You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say