come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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