i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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