You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
