dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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