I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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