They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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