Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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