do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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