It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
