I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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