You really coming over, don't trick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I understand Curling. That high.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
