yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
