i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize