Define "chronic" masturbator.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
