I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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