I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
you made out with another girl for some wings
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You ruined the universe
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