I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
