I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
