At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
why is half of my head shaved?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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