fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
