I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
