He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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