let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You did what with his pubic hair?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
