you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
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dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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