and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
