are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize