I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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