I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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