As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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