And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
