oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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