the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
