Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
