he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
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You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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