i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
