stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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