He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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