I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
