i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
