What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
