Where did you get a picture of my penis
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
