I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
