He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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